White Lily

Confession

Written By | Series: Sailor Moon | Part of

Haruka stood staring out the window of the apartment
she shared with Michiru, only half listening to the
voice behind her. It was raining again, and the soft
sound of the water, along with the pattern it created
as it fell, only served to distract her further. The
gray light outside as dusk settled over the city
reflected her mood perfectly, and she felt her
thoughts begin to drift.
She shook her head slightly and forced her attention
back to the conversation behind her.
“Your talismans may be gone now, but they will
reappear if you should need them. They are a part of
you, and they can never truly be taken away.
Eventually you will be able to summon them at will, as
I can with mine.”
Haruka turned around to face the speaker. Setsuna sat
on the floor, at the table in the center of their
living room, her hands resting idly beside the cup of
tea in front of her. Michiru sat opposite her, leaning
forward slightly, listening intently to what she was
saying.
What Setsuna was saying was important, but try as she
might, Haruka could not focus on it for very long. Her
thoughts kept returning to what had happened earlier
that day at the cathedral. But even the momentous
events that had taken place – the discovery that she
and Michiru had held two of the talismans they had
been searching for, their subsequent death and
resurrection, and the discovery of the Sacred Cup –
even all those things faded away next to the other
thing that had been revealed to her today.
Soon Setsuna stood and took her leave, thanking them
for their hospitality and telling them that she would
return tomorrow to discuss things further. After they
had said their goodbyes, Michiru showed her to the
door. Returning to the living room, she sat down at
the table again and said, “I think Pluto will be a
valuable ally. She seems to understand our point of
view.”
Haruka nodded absently, not saying anything, and after
a moment Michiru looked down at the table, apparently
lost in her own thoughts. A silence descended over the
room, and Haruka turned back to the window. None of
their lights were on, and their apartment slowly grew
darker as the light outside began to fade.
Finally, Haruka turned around again. “We need to talk,
Michiru. About what happened today,” she said.
Michiru stood slowly and turned to her. “Yes, we
should. Now that the Sacred Cup has been found, the
Death Busters may become desperate. We should…”
Haruka interrupted her. “No, Michiru. Not about that,”
she said, suddenly very angry. “I don’t want to talk
about the Death Busters, or the Sacred Cup, or Sailor
Moon, or the Messiah, or any of that. I want to talk
about us. Or were you planning to just forget about
what happened today?”
“Why did you try to stop Eudial from shooting me? We
agreed that we wouldn’t help each other, remember? Why
did you throw yourself into her trap to try to save
me?”
Michiru looked downward, not meeting her gaze, and
said nothing.
Haruka didn’t wait for her answer. “Even now, even
after what happened, you still won’t tell me how you
really feel. You act like you’re afraid to get too
close to me. Why, Michiru? Why do you make this so
hard?”
Michiru looked up at her at that, and her voice was
hard. “Don’t you think I want this to be easy, Haruka?
Do you think I enjoy this battle? Don’t you think I’d
rather be an ordinary high school girl, who didn’t
have to worry about the fate of the world, or fighting
monsters? A girl who stares dreamily out the window in
class, her only thoughts about the person she loves?
But that’s not what I am. I’m a soldier, and I have to
worry about these things.”
Her voice became softer, sadder. “And the worst thing
is, it never ends. I thought that, once we found the
talismans and the Sacred Cup, it would all be over.
The Messiah would be revealed and would triumph over
the Death Busters. But we’ve found the talismans, and
the Sacred Cup, and the war still goes on.”
Michiru looked up, and her eyes, the most beautiful
eyes Haruka had ever seen, were filled with tears.
“And every day we fight, I feel a little colder. Like
a small part of me dies every day we’re in this war.
And I worry… I worry that, one day, my heart will die…
And I won’t be human anymore.”
Haruka felt the anger drain out of her as Michiru
spoke. She walked over to her and put her hands on her
shoulders, looking into her eyes. “I won’t let that
happen, Michiru. Your heart is the most important
thing in the world to me.” She paused, feeling her own
emotions rise within her. “I love you, Michiru.”
Michiru looked up at her and said, quietly, “I love
you too, Haruka.” And with those words, Haruka knew
the greatest joy and the most incredible fear of her
life at the same time. So overwhelmed with feeling was
she that she barely heard Michiru’s next words. “And
I’m sorry… I’m sorry for making it hard for you.”
Haruka wrapped her arms around Michiru, pulling her
close, and Michiru buried her face in her shoulder and
cried.
Haruka meant to comfort her, but she ended up clinging
to Michiru as much as Michiru clung to her. She
finally surrendered to her own feelings, and tears
began to run down her face as well. Haruka didn’t know
how long they stood like that, but when Michiru
finally stopped crying it was nearly dark.
No more words passed between them that night. They
went to bed early, holding each other until they
finally fell asleep, and for one night, they finally
knew peace… And the warmth of love.