White Lily

Senshi Thoughts: Uranus

Written By | Series: Sailor Moon

Facets

As your body crashes to the ground in front of me, I am confronted with five instantaneous visions. Rei-chan, pinned to a wall, her body lifeless; Mako-chan, betrayed and alone, on the ground of the Marine Park; Ami-chan, thrust into a wall, slumped and defeated; Usagi-chan, her life, her very radiance drawn out by Kaolinite; and Minako-chan, that day we learned each other’s identities, her heart crystal shining so obscenely in the gloom of the parking deck.

And at that moment I realize that I would gladly have sacrificed them all – even brilliant, radiant, Odango Atama – I would gladly let the world come to Silence and Chaos, if only you would return to me.

But you won’t. You’ve left me alone, as I always knew you would.

She’s laughing at me, taunting me, but I don’t care. Death will be a blessing and she can say anything she wants, just as long as she shoots me and lets me follow you.

When that voice breaks through the spell, I’m angry at her for interrupting, for delaying my return to you. And then it happens – a vision of redemption and solace, a vision I know I am not worthy of. I reject it, and with it, any hope of life.

I remember when Minako, innocent of my role, asked me if I missed having an ordinary life. What did I answer? I told her that I had something more important. But that was not the whole truth. I do not know what she meant by an ordinary life. I have no idea what it means to be ordinary. Is it something I should miss? All I know is that I have failed.

I cannot do what I was meant to do, what must be done. Maybe…maybe in my death, the world can be saved, as I could not do in my life. Maybe, she can save everyone else, because I know she can’t save me. It’s too late. You’re already gone.