“My name is Hino Rei. A few years ago, the most extraordinary thing occurred – I found out that I had a destiny. It was difficult thing to accept, but I did my best. I became one of the companions of Sailor Moon, the Sailor Senshi, protectors of the Moon Princess. The first days were hard, especially when I realized that for all my discipline and prescience, I was not to be leader of the group. In fact, our leader, Sailor Moon, Usagi, was an irresponsible, whining brat. Or so I thought. I couldn’t stand her incompetence and lack of commitment, so I challenged her for the leadership of the senshi, but the others supported her against me. For a long time I was unable to forgive them. I especially resented Usagi. Then the Dark Kingdom’s attacks became stronger and our Sailor Moon turned out to be the Moon Princess herself. And Usagi, the crybaby, became Serenity, our beautiful and gracious sovereign. And I saw, finally, the nobility and strength in her. At that moment, I, who have been called aloof and cold, grew to love her and pledged my life to protect her. I have loved her since. And with love, came something else…”
Rei stood in the courtyard, sweeping sluggishly in the unusual April heat. Her body was on automatic, her mind far away. She was finding it difficult these days to focus on her tasks. Her thoughts ranged randomly, like a monkey in the forest. In the maelstrom of images and thoughts, one constant remained. A sweet face, with golden hair and large blue eyes returned incessantly to her mind. Rei shook her head in frustration and disgust, wrenching her mind back to the present and the task in hand. Unable to concentrate, Rei was also finding it difficult to sleep. She had begun staying up late, meditating in front of the sacred flame far into the night, trying to bring on an exhaustion that would lead to peace. But there was no peace in front of the flame and her fortune-telling had brought her no rest. Her eyes felt as if they were burning in her face.
Rei finished up her sweeping, put the broom away and plucked her dogi away from her sweat-soaked body. The day was thick and humid, the heat adding to her feeling of heaviness and unease. No breeze came to offer any relief.
She stood still for a moment, sensing someone approaching the temple. She knew it would not be tourists or fortune seekers, not at this late hour of the afternoon. A moment later, footsteps sounded on the flagstones of the stairs, then approached across the courtyard. Rei sighed quietly. She had hoped that lack of sleep would at least dull her prescience, but if anything, she found it becoming sharper, more sensitive. How frustrating.
Rei turned back to the courtyard, trying to pull herself together to greet her guest. She knew perfectly well who had come to see her.
“Rei-chan! Where are you?” Usagi’s voice came across the empty courtyard.
“I’m here, Usagi, hang on…” Rei called around the corner. She came into the courtyard and saw Usagi look up, smiling uncertainly. Then Rei saw, in a flash from Usagi’s mind, the image of herself that Usagi saw. Pale, drawn face, with dark circles under her eyes, sweat-darkened dogi and hakama clinging to her thin body. She looked awful. The pity in Usagi’s eyes made Rei turn away in shame.
“You didn’t come to the study meeting.” Usagi began, carefully omitting the word “again.”
Rei faltered. “I’m sorry. I’ve had so much to do…”
Usagi nodded, accepting the empty excuse.
“Rei-chan, we’re worried about you.” Usagi stepped forward. “If you need to talk…”
Rei stood still, unable to answer. She looked into blue eyes she knew so well. “I’m really sorry, Usagi. I wish I could… I’m sorry.” Rei clamped her mouth down on words that ached to be spoken. Usagi now stood an arm’s length away. She lifted a hand to touch her friend, then withdrew it when she saw Rei flinch from the touch. Usagi’s eyes filled with tears. Rei dropped hers, looking at the grey flagstones beneath them.
“Oh, Rei…” Usagi paused, forcing herself to lighten her tone. “Well, please let me know if I can…if you want to talk.” Rei’s eyes did not rise, but she nodded.
“Thanks, but I’ll be okay.” There was silence, profound and brittle, between them. “I’ll be okay. Please tell the others that I will come to the next meeting.”
Usagi nodded, reached out and grabbed Rei’s hand quickly, then turned and ran across the courtyard and steps. Rei watched, as her hair flying behind her caught the last glint of the setting sun and shone with fire.
Rei lay back in the bathtub and closed her eyes. The water lapped across her abdomen. She let her arms float, trying to release the tension she could feel trapped in her body. Blue eyes, dark with concern, filled her mind. She clenched her hand, feeling again the hand that held her own. Water moved across her stomach, licking at the bottom of her breasts and Rei caught her breath. In her mind, she took the hand that held her own and brought it to one breast. Fingers splayed across her chest, then slowly, they began to move. She could feel herself respond to their touch. Rei moved herself closer to the face before her, placing a light kiss on cool lips. She moaned softly as Usagi moved down to kiss her throat. Rei dragged one hand down her body between her legs, feeling the touch burning on her skin. She gasped as a finger entered her and moved around in the wetness, so different from the water which surrounded her. She could feel another hand move down her body, joining the first. Rei cried out softly as one hand moved within her, the other bringing her closer to ecstasy.
Rei pressed Usagi backwards, laying her down on a soft bed, her hair splayed out like a shining halo around her. Rei moved above her, then entered her. As Rei’s fingers played across her own center, she could see the back above Usagi, darker skinned, muscular, rising and falling. Short dark hair adorned the head that lifted with a soft cry of “Usako!” as Rei peaked in her own orgasm.
As she relaxed her body, Rei leaned her head back on the edge of the bath. A tear trickled out of her eye and dropped from her cheek, where it mingled silently with the bath water.
Rei finished her chores at the temple as the sky darkened. The evening was still sticky, providing no relief from the day’s heat. She peeled off her hakama and dogi, until all she wore were shorts and a t-shirt. She felt as if she would explode if she did not get out. Despite the heat, Rei laced on a pair of sneakers and headed out to the park for a jog. Her easy movement throught the air cooled off her body, but her mind raged like an inferno.
It would be, she mused, much easier if someone would just attack her. Then she could transform into Sailor Mars and fry him to a crisp. She smiled grimly at the thought.
Rei ran until her body burned with fatigue. She turned back to the temple, walking to cool down her aching muscles. Ascending the stairs, Rei considered the evening ahead of her, She looked towards the shrine that contained the sacred flame, but rejected the idea. There was no comfort for her there.
Rei approached her own room and immediately sensed a presence. Her stomach churned as she slid open the door and stepped into the twilight of her room. Someone sat silently on her bed. Rei slid the door closed, reminding herself to breathe from her hara, her center. The form on the bed stirred.
“Rei-chan?”
Rei started at the soft voice. Lilting, almost musical, it was not Usagi’s.
“Ami-chan?” She could picture Ami’s face in her mind. Intelligent dark blue eyes considering her gravely, blue-tinted hair that framed a high forehead. “What are you doing here?” Rei asked, confused.
“Usagi-chan sent me.” Ami shifted on the bed, then stood. Rei’s stomach clenched. “Rei-chan, she came to me right after she left you.”
Rei remained silent, until Ami had to continue.
“She sent me to tell you she is sorry. She…this afternoon she realized why you haven’t been coming to our study meetings. She told me that she is so sorry to cause you this kind of pain.” Ami’s voice cracked with emotion. “She’s sorry she can’t give you what you want, what you need.”
Rei was tense, anger and embarrassment warring within her. When she spoke, her voice was bitter. “She sent you to express her pity for me?” Rei could not believe what she was hearing. Could Usagi be that cruel? There was silence, as Ami gathered her thoughts. She was not usually this reticent, but where emotions were concerned, she was not on comfortable ground.
“No, Rei-chan. She sent me…because she knows how I feel about you.”
“What?” Rei was unprepared for this. Her mind reeled.
Ami continued, as Rei tried to wrap her brain around her friend’s words. “Do you remember, shortly after you joined us, when you ‘won’ the tickets to the romantic cruise?” Rei nodded, then softly grunted her assent. “I commented to you that we were the only people on the boat who were not a couple. And you said…”
“That we could have fun anyway.” Rei answered.
Ami’s voice dropped to a whisper. “When you said that, my heart soared. You were so strong, so intense. I thought you meant…” she paused and sighed. “But then Jadeite interfered and the Dark Kingdom got stronger and we were trying to find the Princess.” She paused. “It was a long time before I realized that you had only taken me along to make Usagi-chan jealous. It took me a long time to understand why you had done it.”
“You told Usagi?” Rei was trembling with the effort of remaining calm.
“Yes, I did. She’s known for a long time. But today, after she left you, she came to me. To ask me to see you, to talk to you. And to give me this.” Ami held up an object in her hand that glimmered in the dim light.
Rei stiffened as she recognized it. “The disguise pen?” she cried. A shock ran through her as she realized the implications of the gift. And with this realization, the dam burst. The wall of composure and discipline that she had been barely maintaining, cracked, then broke completely. Rei fell to her knees, racked with great heaving sobs.
Ami dropped to the floor to cradle Rei, holding her as the sobs were wrenched out of her, the emotion pouring out in a torrent of pain and desire. As Rei cried all the poison out of her system, Ami stroked her head, rocking her slowly and whispering into her ear reassuringly.
Rei’s breathing finally evened, and she leaned into Ami, as new tears flowed. Rei now recognized the depth of the madness she had been facing – the abyss into which she had almost lost herself. And with this knowledge, the tears brought cleasing, wholeness, and finally, peace.
When finally Rei stopped crying she lay for a moment, listening to her friend’s heartbeat. She lifted her head and looked at Ami’s face, pale in the greyness. Dark eyes regarded her solemnly. Rei leaned slightly forward, her left arm snaking out to pull Ami closer to her. They kissed softly, lips barely brushing against each other.
Ami pulled away slightly, reaching her arm out to the floor, grasping for the disguise pen. Rei clasped Ami’s hand in her own and brought it back towards them.
“Don’t.” Rei’s voice was thick with emotion. She could feel Ami pause, then relax. Again Rei drew her close and this time the kiss was deep, their lips parted, tongues gently carresing, teasing. After a time, Rei leaned back, breathless. She shook her head in amazement.
“I wonder,” she said, “how many things about you I don’t know?”
Ami laughed. “Quite a bit, I should imagine. Why do you say that?”
Rei sat up and faced Ami. “I never really thought about it, but, I wouldn’t have expected you to be such a good kisser.”
Ami looked down quickly, then back up, a small smile on her face. “I don’t read only math and science books, you know.”
Rei chuckled, then caught her breath as she felt Ami reach out and pull her in. Her lips, so cool and soft, became more demanding. Rei felt herself growing warmer, her body burning with a growing need. She growled low in her throat as Ami pulled her close, biting lightly at the skin of her throat, just under Rei’s ear.
Ami was like a cool breeze in the thick night, her finger raising bumps on Rei’s skin, where they passed. Ami could feel Rei’s hands burning their mark on her body.
Ami’s mind exploded with sensation as Rei pulled at her blouse, unbuttoning it quickly, crudely, then buried her face in Ami’s chest. Rei held her hands under Ami’s breasts, running her fingers along her ribs. Ami threw her head back, lifting her breasts towards Rei. Rei followed them, finding one nipple with her mouth, the other with a free hand. Ami pressed Rei harder into her, crying for Rei to possess her. Rei pushed Ami backwards against the bed and Ami arced her back. Rei leaned into the blue-haired girl, teasing Ami with her tongue until Ami was moaning uncontrollably. Rei stopped, sitting back a bit, amazed at Ami’s passion. With a shock she realized that this night was the enactment of nearly 3 years of desire that Ami had felt for her..
She sat next to the blue-haired girl and took her face in her hands.
“Ami-chan, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you… Ami’s eyes opened slowly and she took a moment to focus on Rei’s words. A slow smile spread over her face. Ami pressed one finger to Rei’s lips, then followed it with her own lips. When they broke apart some moments later, Ami was smiling.
“You cannot imagine how often I have thought of this.”
“No,” Rei agreed seriously, “I never imagined…”
She felt so happy, she couldn’t imagine why she had never looked at this beautiful young woman who had stood by her side for so long. Ami reached over and helped Rei out of her shirt, then unfastened the shorts. Rei stood, and Ami and she both pulled them down. When she was naked, Rei lay down on her bed, her body lean and pale in the dimness. Ami removed her clothes and joined her friend on the bed.
They spent a long time, just touching each other, learning each other’s bodies. They kissed for what seemed like hours. Rei pressed her lips to the hollow of Ami’s throat and smiled as the smaller girl moaned. Ami put her hands on Rei’s head, drawing her downwards towards her chest. Rei felt one nipple harden in her mouth, then left it, smiling evilly at the cry of disappointment from Ami. Rei moved downwards, lightly stroking incredibly soft skin. She could feel strong legs beneath her hands, and she parted them carefully. Ami sighed so softly that Rei wasn’t sure she had heard it.
She kissed the legs that now surrounded her, spending a few moments to tease the skin at the junction of leg and pelvis. Small gasps and cries punctuated her efforts, but finally Ami took control and redirected Rei’s energy. Rei felt her head being moved, and she led with her tongue. Ami’s hands let go of Rei, and parted her cleft, holding herself open, vulnerable. A wave of desire shot through Rei and she buried her face in Ami. She could hear Ami moan her name, then she could hear nothing at all, as lust and her own blood pounding filled her mind. Rei licked, sucked and nipped at Ami for what seemed like a heavenly eternity, until Ami’s hands returned to her head, pulling her close, forcing Rei to enter her with her tongue. Ami thrashed her head from side to side, crying unintelligably, then relaxed, contracting around Rei’s tongue, until Rei thought her head would explode from pleasure. Eventually, Ami let Rei move. Rei laid her head on Ami’s stomach, listening to her heart pound, letting herself be soothed by the steady rhythm.
Ami ran her hand through Rei’s hair, playing with the loose strands, draping them across her naked body. Ami’s let her hands find Rei’s shoulders and begin to massage them, finding tension and releasing it. Rei sighed, remembering again what it was like to relax. It had been so long.
Ami’s hands become more inquisitive, sliding down Rei’s torso, feeling back muscles, ribs, just brushing at her breasts. Rei could hear Ami’s heartbeat quicken and her own sped up in answer. Ami rolled Rei over and pinned her arms above her head. Rei laughed silently, then caught her breath as she felt Ami lower herself to Rei’s chest, pulling at one nipple with her lips.
“Oh, gods, Ami-chan…” Rei mumbled. She let her eyes close and the vision of blue-hair and azure eyes looking up at her came to her. She searched in her mind for the disquiet of the afternoon, but could not find it. Rei sighed, as the last vestige of darkness, flickered and died, drowned in the light from a pair of intelligent, deep blue eyes. She saw Ami, strong in will and body, Ami with sad, knowing eyes, and Rei knew that she would never let those eyes be sad again.
Ami had moved her hands down Rei’s body, and was slowly, tantalizingly parting her lips, teasing her, drawing wetness out of her and moving it around. One hand moved deeper, playing at Rei’s opening and Rei begged Ami to enter her. Ami laughed, and moved away, fondling soft skin on inner thighs and strong buttocks. Ami teased Rei mercilessly, until only incoherent moans and begging came from the taller girl. Finally, Ami entered Rei, and began to tantalize her with her other hand. Rei couldn’t take it a moment longer. Aching for release she let her own hand trail downwards, and assisting Ami, she brought herself to a crashing orgasm that took quite a while to subside.
When Ami was free to move, she laid herself next to Rei, her head on Rei’s arm. Rei pulled her close, letting Ami’s coolness wash over her like a stream of water. Ami pressed her face into Rei’s body, soaking up her heat. She sighed happily, then kissed Rei lightly.
The silence that enclosed them was deep – they felt protected by the night. Exhausted by emotion and release, they fell asleep, entwined in each other’s arms, the moon watching over them from above.
Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon © Takeuchi Naoko, Bandai Visual, Kodansha, etc.
Original situations and characters, E. Friedman